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If you are my friend you probably know how disgusted I am with cheaters. They really get into my nerves. Nobody deserves to be cheated on. I haven't had a first hand experience about this but I've got friends who did. This is a perspective from a friend of the people who got cheated on.
No matter how hateful I am to those people, we can never really put ALL the blame to them. You know from the very start that it won't work because he's non-committed. Or maybe you didn't know because you didn't take the time to know him well.
Commitment and sex should be an earned privilege not a wish simply granted.
If you give it away so easily, he won't give as much importance to it. Just as someone would give importance to an earned savings rather than a jackpot won. You must let him know how to treat you right. Teach him how worthy you are for an effort. And most of my friends mistakes were they get so attached, so needy and fearful that they might loose him---- which is a clear sign of weakness. If you let him know that he has control over you - you're dead.
The craziest thing my friend did was she tried to win back her boyfriend's attention even after he cheated. It's like telling him that you'll try to accept everything he did without even paying the consequences of it. You just made it clearer (if not clearest) to him that you have lesser value now, more than ever.
Here's the deal with that. Even he goes back to you and how much you try to win him back, you already lost him. As you probably guessed, he won't change. They won't change. No matter how badly we want to be their reason to change, it's all up to them. Despite the time you offer in the relationship, he will never make you feel secured again. And you will realize that all these for an unhappy you. Are you still willing to go through it?
If yes, I tell you now that is not love. You just want to win and become the woman who changed him. And I will tell you again and again like how many times I have told my friends, he's never gonna change. Maybe he will but not because you made him do it. After being cheated on, you can turn out to be a stronger woman or the weaker one.
We all want to be that woman who can change a man. But the truth is they are the men who changed the women.
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