True friends aren't always the one close to you.
All of us has experienced paranoia to some extents. We become suspicious or may have irrational thoughts once in a while. However, some of us don't understand that being paranoid can become a chronic problem.
We often corresponds paranoia with jealousy and insecurity. When in fact it is more than that, it is a rejection, denial and suppression of ones' self. It is the power you give to someone to hurt you or make you feel uncomfortable without their intentions. People with such condition would often accuse you of being guilty of adverse actions that never occurred in the first place.
I have a friend who suffered from paranoia the past years. We were best of friends. She had to go through family issues. I wanted to be with her through her tough times but then she started isolating herself from me, from us. We lost our usual communication, but we were still connected via Facebook. Whenever I try to post anything on facebook, she would assume the worst. I tried reaching out to her but it never ended well (cat fight online). And I figured it wasn't her anymore. It was paranoia that I am dealing with. When I try to tell her happy thoughts or share my happiness to her, she would confuse it as bragging when it wasn't my intention to do so. When I try to talk about MY family, MY boyfriend, MY career she would suspect it was one of my innuendos to her. (emphasis on my because I was just pertaining to my life not anybody else's and especially not hers) I came to a point that I had to delete her on my friend's list to avoid hurting her even I didn't attempt to. That's the thing about paranoia, it claims that you are guilty and you're innocence is automatically denied. We lost a full communication for about 2 years. Now we are two civilized person that engage in group conversations, greets each other during the holidays, no more cat fights, no more hates, and no more bad mouths. I let her have the space she needs from me because it's the only way to save our friendship.
And I am proud to say I won the battle against the paranoia of my friend. From all that happened I never stopped being her friend. I am not her best friend anymore but I am still her true friend from a far. Yes, I plan to maintain this kind of friendship with her because I don't ever want to trigger anymore pain into her life.
It is easy for us to label someone as insecure when they are paranoid. But they aren't just an insecure bitch we used to think of, they are victims of an inner universe of repressed hurt and pain. They need help. And if you ever retaliate, you will lose. Because....
Paranoia is the bitch of all bitches.
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