(Left: My boyfriend's graduation; Right: My graduation)
I am in a decade-long love-relationship and I don't believe in forever. The idea of forever is the same as death - permanent. We use the word forever to describe how permanent our love is, but how permanent is forever? Unfortunately, we only use it because it sounds perfectly beautiful with the phrase 'i love you'... forever - not realizing that we describe our love vaguely - it only eases our fear of mortality and of everybody that we will leave behind when our time comes.
I heard from other people that the bad years of the relationship are the 3rd, the 7th and the 11th year. Once you reached the fourth anniversary, people congratulate you as if you took a 4-year bachelor degree. But I tell you, the length of relationship doesn't guarantee a better love and that your partner would never cheat. That is the reason, my boyfriend and I never based our love by the length of time of our relationship. We need time to build a strong relationship, yes. But we have to be certain that the time we spent is, of quality.
My relationship with my boyfriend is very special. He is my bestfriend - not because he knows everything about me, do things together, go on fancy dates or out of towns, coitus etc. I consider him my bestfriend because we have a deep connection that I never found from anybody else and the same goes with him. That even we are now in a long distance relationship for two years, our connection has always been there but deeper. Having a connection with someone doesn't need physical intimacy, therefore people telling you that you have to physically engaged with them if you truly loved them are jerks.
Through the course of our relationship, I stopped becoming the prettiest girlfriend, the sexiest, the kindest, the intelligent, the forgiver and other types. I stopped becoming the perfect partner and started becoming the real me - because there is nobody out there that can be the
(Left: Our second year anniversary way back when we were teenagers; Right: February 2015 when he came to visit me in Hong Kong)
I don't believe in forever because I always believe in us. I didn't have to hold unto an indefinite word because I can hold unto him, knowing he would never let go. That's the connection, that even there are knots in between we are willing to give our time to untangle the knots even how impossible it may seem.
A relationship worth investing have: God (depends on your religion), connection, honesty, love and faithfulness from the very start of the relationship until we prove forever exists.
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