It is easy for us to assume that people who has been unfaithful for a very long time, will obviously stay that way. But what if they don't?
Not that I know people who actually changed for the better after spending more than half of their lives cheating but let's not put our hopes down just yet.
How would you know if he truly is a changed man?
If you know him as a serial cheater or even a first time cheater with you or his past relationships, you'd ask yourself "Can I trust this man?" - Of course you can. You love that man and you'd be willing to do anything to work things out for the both of you, even the whole world wouldn't agree. But is it really what this is all about? Or rather ask yourself, "What made him choose to betray me or the other women in his past? Why did he chose infidelity?"
Man chooses infidelity because it gives him power, pleasure and excitement. What would be more exciting than the danger of doing something bad behind your wife/partner's back? Infidelity is addictive.
It is actually hard to know if he is still the man he used to be.. Especially if you truly love that person. All you will see is the perfect side of him even you know deep in your heart he isn't.
Things you need to consider or ask yourself before getting/getting back into a relationship with a person who was once betrayed their partner/you:
1. Sanctity
Does he consider relationships as sacred? Every relationship is important but if he refuses to see it as a special connection between man and woman, it is likely to become a special connection between a man and women or vice versa.
2. Secrecy
Does he keep a lot of secret from you? That results to hearing odd information from other people rather than from himself directly. If he keeps tiny details from you, he might have a bigger secret to keep.
3. Sincerity
Did he confess his sins? Did he accept the consequences of his action? Or did he blame the other party? A man who plays victim and blame the woman for his actions is not manly enough to face his mistakes. Is that the kind of man you want to live your whole life with?
4. The Other Woman
Was there a time (even once) that he chose the other woman than you? Was there a time that he protected the other woman rather than you? If he truly loves you he will always choose to protect you.
After realizing those questions above, please keep in mind that before you get back or get into a relationship you already have a clear understanding of how the relationship would go/work after infidelity.
It's not about surviving infidelity rather living a meaningful life after infidelity.
Disclaimer: Not a couple or marriage counselor, just from pure observation and information I have read and gathered from professionals.
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